Dimentional Gaurdian Force;
Season Two; Episode Five: Griffen Trouble? Call 1800-CHOSEN-1
By: W. Bob Yankovic
You know the deal, I come out here and say something about not giving a strange body part about ripping this stuff off. Well to tell you the truth I am kinda out. So I am gonna leave this one to the reader. I don't give a(n) ____(fill this in yourself, use your imagination)__________ about ripping this stuff off. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the fic.
"We aren't dead," Locke said, "we are beyond dead, I mean stick a fork in us we are done, finito, final curtain, going to the big treasure chest in the sky, kiss us-" "Shut up!" I said, "man can you take something and make it irritating." "Well I was just trying to help out," he said. "Ok, here is the line," I said and made a line in the dirt. "You are above the line," I said making a gesture to the upper portion. "I get the picture," he said. Meanwhile I had no idea what was happening but the griffen seemed to be kinda just staring at us. He opened his mouth and a projector spat out an image of Qel-Droma. "Meet my pet, Omega Weapon," the hologram said, "you might notice that he is a combination of all the weapons from Shinra and the Atma weapon." "Wait, did he just say Atma Weapon?" Locke asked. "Yeah," Link answered. Before I could ask why he screamed "VANISH!" and a little blast shot out and the Omega Weapon dissapeared. Then he followed up with "DOOM!" I had heard of this combo before and I waited to see the ghost with a sicle float out of the Weapon but nothing happened. The Vanish spell wore off and Locke just stood there motionlessly. "Oh, and don't try any of those doom spells," the hologram said, "I fixed that flaw." "$#*!," Link muttered, "that was all for nothing." "Yeah, looks like it is the hard way for this one," I said.
The battle was way one sided. We were getting our tails kicked. None of Locke's spells hurt the thing very much, and Link had tried every trick from getting the thing to swallow a bomb to smashing his tail with a big hammer. Me, I might have put a scratch on it but that was about it. I had pulled out every weapon I could think of. I had shot every power blast I could muster and still nothing. "Man, I wish Ray was here," I said. "What would he be able to do?" Link asked. "I am gonna ignore that question," I said. A though struck my mind and I decided that it was worth a shot. I calmed myself and started to shape shift. When I finished I was standing in the likeness of Ulic Qel-Droma. "Stop," I commanded the beast. It responded to me by firing a power blast out of the tip of his tail that threw me back against the wall. "That worked really well," I said under my breath. Link and Locke were giving the Weapon all that they could, one pounding from the front and one from the back. Then I had another idea but got rid of that one real quick, I mean pink and a flying ball just isn't me. This would have been a good time for a break but unfortunatly there wasn't anywhere to go. I saw the Weapon slam Link up against the roof and I could have sworn that I heard bones crack. "Link!" I screamed. Rage filled me and soon I felt a wave of power spill over me. It was a cold evil power, and I flurished in it. I rushed at the Weapon and leaped, suprisingly high for a human, up to the back of the beast and began to hack at its shoulder socket. The great mechanical beast didn't seem to notice. I began to feed myself with the new-found power and I broke through the outer castin into the gears. I slammed my lightsaber down to the hilt in the shoulder of the Weapon. I began to slash to the side but a huge electrical blast tossed me off of the beast and overloaded my saber. I flew across the room but I caught myself in the air and everything seemed to slow down. I spun, called my lightsaber to me and landed safely. That is when a huge section of the door blew off and slammed right into the Weapons face. "What the #*!!?" Link said. "Reinforcements," I said maniacly. "Shane!" Ray yelled, "need some help?" "Not really but you could if you wanted," I answered. "Would you mind telling me what that is?" he said as he walked toward me. "A combo of our good friends Ruby, Emmerald, Diamond, Ultimate, Junon and Atma weapons," I said. "Oh great," he said. "My sediments exactly," Locke yelled as he shot another blast at Omega.
With Ray in the battle things evened up a tad. We had the thing surrounded on all sides and he was actually looking like he was weakening, well his paint was almost all the way off. The blast from the door that Ray provided had slammed some sort of motor of something but Omega couldn't turn his head the whole way. He was limping on the leg I had slashed and he looked as if he was running out of power. Link was ok, he just said that he probably had a few bruised ribs and a broken collarbone but he was still fighting. I had to give it to the elf, he was bad. I had somehow lost the power I had so shortly controlled, and was wondering how I could get it back. Ray began to get pretty ticked at the thing and was almost about to blow up himself. "Time for trouble!" he screamed. I saw his blade extend and the smaller blades shoot out the sides. He jumped in the air and slammed the sword straight through the back. Omega realled with pain and tossed Ray across the room. I felt the rage flow back over me and soon the power followed. I charged the thing again and crawled up the body of Omega and thrust my saber into its eye. I ripped it out and shoved it through the other. A giant paw swung up at me but with my hightened reflexes I ducked and stabbed at the Weapons face yet again. I flipped of of it and back down to the floor. I looked over at Ray and he had a very bad look on his face.
"What?" I asked. "You are using the dark side, you have to let it go," he said. "Who are you, my mother," I said. "You are letting yourself take the easy way out. If you don't stop it will consume you!" he screamed at me. "You just stay over there and I will fight this thing however I want," I said. Unfortuntly I didn't see the other paw swinging back around at me. It stopped right above me and slammed down. I screamed in pain as I felt the half living half robotic foot press down on me. "YOU HAVE SCREWED WITH THE WRONG GUY!" I screamed at the thing. I felt a new even stronger wave of power go over me and I thrust up. The paw lifted but I could not move out of the way fast enough and it came crashing back down on me. "STOP!" Ray screamed. Omega had no idea what he was up against. I got a glance at Ray and saw his crystals flashing all at the same time. I didn't think that he could use them all at the same time but at that moment I was oopen for suggestions. He began to glow and a huge blast formed in front of him. It fired out and the whole giant mechanical beast flew off of me. It was pinned up agains the wall and began to glow red, then yellow, then white, then the lightest shade of blue as the blast kept pouring from Ray's hands. Finally the blast subsided and the Omega Weapon was reduced to a pile of semimolten metal and ash.
"Is everyone ok?" Ray asked. "I have a few bruises, some gashes and a broken leg," Locke reported. "I have got a few broken ribs now and a definatly broken collar bone," said Link. I was suprisingly unhurt considering what I went through. Ray was dog butt tierd, and I could see why. "Hey, sorry bout that whole deal back there," I apologized. "No problem, just promise that you won't let that happen again," he said. I walked over to the computer terminal and placed my hand on it. "I am downloading the whole thing onto my ships' backup harddrives," I said. Something caught my eye. It was a small oval machine sitting on one of the shelves. I set the computer to auto-dump and walked over to see what it was. "Republic Midi-Chlorian Scanner," said the plaque said. "Hey Ray, you'll never guess what I just found," I said. "What?" he answered inquisitivly. "Come look," I motioned him over. He bent down to the shelf and read the plaque. "Holy crap!" he said, "how old is this thing?" "I have no idea," I said, "I wonder if it still works."
"Why not try it on yourself, you have the Force," Locke said as he hobbled over to us leaning heavy on his crutch. I took the small machine and thumbed the on swithch. It hummed to life in my hand. A small panel lit up and Ray said, "I think you have to put some of your blood on it." "Yeah I know," I said. I looked for a cut and found one on the back of my arm. I smeared some of the blood on the panel and it turned green. I waited a few moments and it read back "13500." "That can't be right," I said. I smeared some more on it and it gave me the same reading. "I 'm not that strong," I said under my breath. "Do it again," Ray said. I did and again the same answer. "Maybe Qel-Droma was lieing to you," Ray suggested. "I have an idea," I said. I walked over to the terminal and placed my hand on it again. I scanned for anything that had to do with me or my work. I found a file that was septupally encryted with the title "McInnis" on it. "Only seven encryptions? I am dissapointed," I said. I broke the encrypts in a matter of seconds. There before me was a full of every detail of every mission and every project I had ever been in. I made an inquiry about anything that had relation of the Force in it. I found a file with Qel-Droma's personal encrypt on it and decided that this is what I was looking for. I cracked it open and read these words. "Entry Eighteen-A27: Personal Account of Student Lambda. The subject has responded with extreme qucikness in the tests I have placed before him. He has learned to read minds and control his strange ability to change the future in the time it took me to become able to move dust particles. I have hidden his true ability from him for I fear that if I train him fully, he will ruin my plans for the future. I believe that Emperor Palpatine had also found this ability and chose him as his Hand. I do believe though that time he spent with the Emperor could hamper his ability and he may stray to the Light side of the Force. He could be a vital key to the final destruction of the Dimentional Gaurdian Force. -End- "So he was lieing to me," I said. "That is why you seemed to be able to adapt to the Force so quickly, even if it was the Dark Side," Ray added. "Still 1350 isn't sky high. I am still a good four thousand below Luke," I said, "but what I can't figure out is why it surfaced just now." "Maybe when the Vortex messed with your abilities it knocked something into place," Ray said. "That could be it, wait what is this?" I asked as I pointed to a heading that read Exar Kun.
"This is it," Ray said, "we are gonna find out if that weirdo is still alive." "Maybe, it could just say unconclusive evidence or asomething," Locke said. "Yeah got a point there," I said. I opened the encrypts with amazing speed. I was really beginning to like my new powers. And I appearantly had more to be discovered. The files zoomed past on the screen, over three thousand in total. "This is gonna take forever," Ray said. "No, just a few minutes," I commented. I sent a few inquiries out and found the ones that were the newest. Then I searched through those and found the ones that pretained to the battle. "See there, when you can control computers with your mind it is easy," I said with a little smirk. I looked through them and fingered one that said Last Contact. It loaded and Ray began to scan it. I took out a disk and poped it in and began to download the midi-chlorian program into it. "Right here," Ray said and pointed at a spot on the screen. It read: "Exar Kun has not been heard from and is assumed dead." "That is all we have?" I askesd. "That is it so far," ray answered. "A presumption, might as well be a shot in the dark," I said. "Yeah but now we have all of the Sub-Station coordinates," he said back, "and that we can work with."